Anyone For Soccer?

For me this is the lovely game in a nut-shell.

Benton Is Free!!!

WATCH WATCH WATCH!! One man and his dog have just made me wet myself...



And to take it one step sillier, watch this nice use of the audio...



Or this final baby which made me finally laugh out a little bit of snot...



I love the internet!!!! FENTONNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Back In The Saddle

For those of you who have been bemoaning the quality of my posts, saying I've "sold out to the man" and lost the true essence of the gallery, to those people I give you...

Temptation?

Ah a nice little cake to cheer up grumpy ian curtis...

Nobody Cares, Ken...

A purely self-indulgent clip now, as although many may know old terry wogan, not that many will know he used to have a marvellous breakfast show here on sleepy BBC Radio 2. And even less may be aware that his "hand-over" to the next morning DJ was to ken bruce, and their little "tete-a-tete"s were delightfully mundane and pointless. Aaanyway, here are two funny comedians pretending to be them. (I love this and can't stop playing it!!!)



Ah, nobody cares, Ken.

Two Reasons I Love The Internet...

I'm well aware of how sad this makes me, but fuck it!

Honourin' Carlin

You'd be amazed at the amount of youtube comments for this that said "R.I.P. George".
Obviously didn't really grasp George's philosophy on religion and all that!

Damned Gravity...

Breeding The Perfect Race

Last Meals On Death Row

London photographer James Reynolds documented the final meals of former death row inmates. Cheerful, eh. The prison trays are replicas of those used in maximum security prisons.
"I saw a small list of what a few death row prisoners had chosen for their last meals before their deaths and I wondered what they would look like as a visual image. After all, these meals would be one of the last things these prisoners see before they die. At first I just wanted to see what these meals looked like on the iconic prison tray. I wanted to get the viewer to think, or have an opinion.‘I’d like to think that the photographs make the viewer think, what thought that is, I am not sure, as I myself had more thoughts the more I looked at them. What would my last meal be? What kind of people were these prisoners? Why did they choose that particular meal? What crime did they commit?"

‘The single olive still had its stone. The inmate thought that after being executed and buried, an olive tree—a symbol of peace—would grow from him. It was indeed a very profound thought or idea, but an olive tree has not yet been found on his grave.’
Shame that the stone of a processed black olive will never germinate. It has been boiled and packed in brine. It is a dead as the prisoner. Someone should've told him really...

P.S. Thanks to howtobearetronaut, I totally plagiarised your post!

A Disgrace To The Human Species

Sniff up a quick line of Richie! It's the good shit!

No-Loos Lautrec

Here is a photograph of Toulouse-Lautrec shitting on a beach...

Yes, you did just see that. In 1898, Parisian art gallery owner Maurice Joyant photographed his childhood friend Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec defecating on the beach at Le Crotoy, Picardie. A year later Toulouse-Lautrec was committed to an asylum, in 1901 he died from complications caused by alcoholism and syphilis.

Little turd.

It's been a while since I could be bothered to whitter on about who makes me laugh the most, I know. Sorry, if you've been waiting! Anyway, this time it is the turn of... Tim Vine. Now many people I know will groan at this particular selection, but tough-titty because I love him!!

Not too much back-story to Tim, born 1967 in Cheam, Surrey, England, (Cheam, the legendary home of Tony Hancock, more of him another time!), started doing stand-up as a young man, and hit The Edinburgh Fringe in 1995 and won the newcomer perrier award. His shows are an unceasing wash of puns and silliness, the following is one of my favourite bits of fun ever...

Anyone now picking a pen up from the floor? Hmm? I bet you are! If this left anyone wanting more, then click HERE to see hockey-stick behind the ear! He's done lots of tv shows, from naff game shows, (Whittle), to sketch shows, (The Sketch Show), to a very funny sit-com, (Not Going Out). But he's at his best on stage, he reminds me a lot of one of my first heros, Tommy Cooper.

Paper Boy

Guess What Mood I'm In Today...

Not A Sausage

Well, a deafening silence from the gallery viewers! Not a single comment! Either no-one gives a shit, or everyone is too embarrassed to admit watching. Or both! Can i say a warm thank you to everyone for your resounding indifference. At least I know how this relationship works!
Normal service will be resumed shortly.

The Origin Of The Brain

Found this and was dying to share. And then I watched it! See the image of Beaker that appears at the beginning? I guarantee that after watching all of this clip, your expression will be the same!



I managed 4 minutes of this before my little brain exploded. So apparantly, we're all from bacteria? This guy must've met my relatives. (Obvious gag, sorry people!) You will all be pleased to hear too, that there a series of these videos! Yippety-yay!!

FaceBook Review

In an alternate universe, I joined facebook...



Yeah, think I'll still pass on joining, thnx.

Meet Micho Russell...

I can hardly understand a word this chap says, but his music doesn't half speak...

Chec-Neck

You know what they say, "Big neck... 

...big scarf".

Circle The Cat

Here's a game to kill your brain. Click on the circles to encircle the cat. That's it. Please don't blame me if you end up playing this all day! (I did!) Click on HERE to play!!

Oh Joy!

Not Just Another Brick In The Wall

Kinda Inception meets Blairwitch...



Actually, I've found scarier things down the pub, mostly in the urinals, but I'll save those stories for another day. "Always leave them wanting more!!"

Competition Tinme...

Can you spot the I.T. guy...?

A Quantum Of Physics

Found this on my drunk wanderings. Can't remember why I'm sharing it, but there you go, I'm a fascinating melting pot of ideas, I'm an enigma, sometimes silly, sometimes deep.



Ooh, click on through and there's a video titled "Dry ice farts when you cut it". Someimes deep...

Beware Of Slapheads With Goatees

Bit weird this one.Worth a watch though!

Jetstream Lovers

Cheap gag, but his expression makes this just marvellous!

The Lowercase a-Team

Ah the internet, how much do I love thee? Let me count the ways!
Now, first off I found this charming little picture a year or two ago...

Lovely stuff, I think you'll agree! But it doesn't end there! Today, I found the bloody trailer! It looks like this half-pint team actually made the freakin' movie!!

I really hope this clip works on the site, as I've deleted some of the waffle off the code! Suckers!

Can You Tell Me How To Get...

Sometimes Mildly Obscene

Ah the confessions of a librarian! What a story that would be! Well, for starters, someone has been vandalising the books and putting slightly different images on the covers. Ooh, cheeky!



It's a rip-roaring world in there, aint it! Sheesh.
P.S. This clip was shamefully pilfered from a slightly new and slightly odd little blog I like, MoundsAndCircles. Pop along and expand! (Not like that, you dirty boy!)

Meet Tex...

Can't be arsed to figure out his second name. It's just a gimp with a gun. And, oh dear, he shoots himself. Sorry, spoiler alert! Enjoy Tex "discharging his load" in his pants, we've all been there...



Just a shame he doesn't keep his gun in his hat.

Is That An Oomphalapompatronium In Your Pocket...?

So what's in your shed? Is it an old man in a beard waiting to squeeze your horn? Of course it is!



P.S. Is this meant to be sexy? Cos it took me forever to "empty my reservoir" to this video...

Wish he was your doctor...?

For The Dad's...

The best advice I can add is from Jim Jefferies... "Try not to be a cunt".

The Four Bottles Of Life...

.

Happy Father's Day!

To all those fellow suffering dad's out there, here's to you! Hope you're doing something as lovely as this guy is, on our one little day!! Raaarr!!!!

Going Down Or Getting Down?

I wanna go!!!!

Aaaaah! My Pressie For Father's Day!

Talking of making things, my son made this lovely creation from the heart today...

It means he loves me. I think.

Corny...

...but funny!

YouTube Comments

I love Adam buxton, (used to hate him but that's a long story!), I love youtube, and I love the copious amounts of frothy lager in my belly right now. So that said, here's tonights post!

Happy Families

Is it wrong to love this picture?

Name That Pun...

Any takers...?

Withnail & R2

Ah the perfect student mash-up! When an out-of-work droid finds himself far from his natural habitat of Camden, thrown deep into a galaxy far far away, it does nothing to dampen his quest for cake, tea and the finest wines available to humanity...



"Of course he's the fucking farmer!"
If you fancy the next installment, with Danny as Yoda and his camberwell carrot, then click HERE.

Firelight

Yes, I'm sad, but I've found another cool lamp! And yes, as always, there's bad news... it's 130 Euros. If you're crazy and rich, then go buy it HERE! (Buy me one too!)

Why Do Birds Sing?

Now an absolutely lovely rendition of a Carpenter's classic from Welsh TV...



I almost wet myself every time I watch this, (and get very very strange looks off the missus in the process). Click through to youtube to find more silliness from the hilarious John Sparkes.

I Whip My Head Back And Forth

Bit of Russian talent now, nothin I'm sure to do with their nuclear spillages in the past.
I did this once as well, whilst watching Chris Tarrant on TV. I couldn't find the remote.



Prr-tshh!!!!!

Ooooo... It's The Prez!!!

Canine Capers

Another silly clip! Comes courtesy of our horror friend Dr Cyclops.
(Don't worry, the dog don't get torn up or anything nasty!)



The comments are just as silly too, quite a little row starts all because of this one someone put:

THIS IS FAKE!!!!!! THE DOG ISN'T ACTUALLY TALKING!! I CAN TELL BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN DOGS IN PERSON AND THEY JUST GO WOOF AND SUCH. FAKE FAKE FAKE!!

It's Festival Time

Yes yes, it's time to get on your wellies and get dancing in that muddy field!
No thanks. Did it once, and even wore only a bloody bandana on my head with bovva boots and ripped black jeans, flashing my skinny bits to Rolf Harris and Jamiroqui. Nice.
Anyway, here's a marvellous song about why it's a good idea to stay away from the whole affair.




I love this song! It almost made it onto my Desert Island Discs! In fact this clip made me stop hating Adam & Joe, I love 'em now. Check out their BBC 6Music podcast on itunes, it's a belter.

Twat Of The Week

I had a fantastic image of a sexually repressed deviant posing in ill-fitting, ill-fashioned clothes lined up for today, but I just came across this video of quite a bigger twat indeed. Watch this coke-fuelled rant and tell me you don't want to punch him in the face...



How can anyone talk so much without saying a single iota of value is beyond me.
What a twat.

I Wanna Wal*Mart!!

Just found one of the most addictive websites going! Oh, quite a claim, I know.
Click on PEOPLE OF WALMART to giggle at the over-weight, over-dosed, and over-dressed patrons of America's finest supermarket! I really need to stop looking, mm, maybe...

Just Did It.

Hardcore Parkour

Is it silly? Yes! Is it funny? Yes! Then stick it on!
Can't help thinking I wanna be in this little clip too...

Twat Of The Week

Better late than never, here is a special Easter Twat Hunt. Happy hunting kids!

Poor bunny doesn't look happy at all does he?!

World Peas

As John once said... give peas a chance.

What Did You Eat Today?

Haitians are having to feeding their children dirt cookies to survive. DIRT cookies.
That is fucked up.



Seriously fucked up.

Jim Jefferies On Religion

This guy's a bit brutal, but he is good. Yes, he is going over well-trodden arguments, but he does it well. Those who agree and are in the 21st century may be interested to know he also has a hilarious podcast, Talkin Shit, over on itunes, which is even more brutal!



P.S. Try not to be a cunt.

Souveneir Shop

Ah The Royal Wedding is almost upon us! You've bought your commemorative tea-towel, check. You've bought you're commemorative  biscuit selection, check. Still feel inadequate? Hmm, well how about the following tasteful ideas. First up is the the perfect manicure option, The Royal Wedding Nail Decals! Just don't pick your nose with them on, it wouldn't be right...

Nice, eh? Still wanna go that little bit further? Well, how about going all the way, balls deep one might say, with The Crown Jewels, Condoms Of Distinction. Oh yes. As they so eloquently put it... "Lie back and think of England". Pure class! See their website HERE.

Make mine "King Size" please! (Prr-tshh!!!)

Meet The Guano Guys!

To all the well built ladies out there, it's your lucky day! Here in the dating section of The Gallery we have found another absolute hottie for ya! Meet F 4024, or as I like to call him simply, F. Apparantly he is a sexy bachelor escort, and keen to prove it! Doesn't say which part he is prepared to prove though. Probably the bachelor part. I'm being mean here, obviously anyone hooking up with this cool cat is in for quite a swingin' guy!

Let's taste a slice of that good life.